Judgement Day!

 We’re only flesh

And blood, scholars scold,

Of fickle atoms and dust

That soon grow cold.

While planets spin and stars collide,

On this blue sphere

We plot and die.

We touch the moon and orbit earth,

(But can’t explain a single birth!)

And all the while God sits and dwells,

On paradise becoming hell.

If things exist but to scratch and claw,

Then what’s the point of minding law?

And if we are, as they say, like dogs-

but creatures of the day,

From Christ’s (the Shepard’s! ) bowl I’ll dine,

And sleep beside my old canine.

And if  it’s true - and the rest are lies,

That the rose bloomed once forever dies,

Then, when it’s time 

I’ll trust His way..

I’ll turn my back to godless lore.

Then my ashes they will scatter 

In the universal matter,

And I won’t be me

Anymore..

Till Judgement Day!

JBS Blackheart

FaceBook Jail and Me.

 Well, FaceBook has thrown me back into the convent of The Little Bitches of Poverty and Pain to do penance.. I hope they’re not holding their breath..I’m beginning to get a bit irritated..

( You can righteously call POTUS a sorry, lying motherfucker but whatever you do don’t show some little dipshit sticking a butter-knife into an electrical outlet..FB has a butter-knife up its own butt when it comes to suicide..) 

Me and a fellow writer just got 30 more days - him for allegedly insulting the Religion of Peace..( You can’t call Mooselums morons anymore unless you enjoy FB prison food and don’t mind taking a chance on getting your neck cropped while you’re pumping gas..) I’m not saying they’re stupid, and moron may be too strong of a word - they’re all smart if you put them in a room by themselves!

Gays are strictly off limits too as they’ve learned that body-building has other advantages than getting them into a hot guy’s hairy ass..They have muscle now and they’re not afraid to use it - if they keep the macho act up much longer someone might mistake them for actual men..Lesbians are still sexy except for the ones with Arms like hams and breath that could peel paint..And don’t get me started on Tranny’s, ( I call them “Griners.” ) They have a deep-seated rage on an historic scale against normal people and anything more patriotic than a rainbow flag..

Blacks are cool - just don’t go to the State Fair on HomeyDay unless your clothing line is made by Kevlar, and if you drive your car you’d better pay the 12 year old trying to sell you crack in the parking lot to watch it instead or it’ll be stripped 10 minutes after you walk away..The slowest day of the year is June 18th,(Father’s Day.) No black men will be there because they are all too confused, or because they know their Ex’s will be there holding a silly grudge and their hands out wanting a contribution to help support the nine ‘chirren she had with your deadbeat ass while she was between quality boyfriends.. ( Besides, the fair quit selling malt-liquor anyway - you wouldn’t like what the place has become!)

Mexicans are great if you need a good fence built and you can catch them hanging out front of Home-Depot by 9:00 AM before they’ve finished their first twelve pack..

Stupid people are still fair game to insult but they’re picking up on the whole social-justice thing pretty quick..They’re learning to color inside the lines now but thankfully haven’t figured out the disadvantages of a circular firing squad yet..

Liberals, well fuck liberals - they’re just like atheists who exist with no invisible means of support except from people like you and me that actually work for a living and pay a shit-ton of taxes to keep these tapeworms alive..There are very few people I truly despise, (no more than 40, maybe 45, and they’re ALL liberals..)

Politicians are as welcome as NAMBLA members at a kindergarten Christmas play and they should all stay far away from light poles or they might find themselves decorating one..as far as Joe ( Buttplug) Biden - he’s got such an evil, monstrous, leer any pirate or Jack-o-lantern would be envious and any adolescent girl had better flee from in abject terror and self-preservation..All Yankees north of the Mason-Dixon Line should stay in their frozen hell..They know how we feel about them here..

Which brings me right back to the little bitches of FaceBook.. I have no beef with them really..They’re just performing to their own nature after all - it’s their ball and we’re all just playing with it waiting to see who they’ll get mad at first and take it from before running home.. I wouldn’t have met some extraordinarily interesting people and friends without it -  and if the FB people were all in mental anguish leaning over the precipice of eternity I’d be there with a kind smile and reassuring words - and a gentle shove..

JBS Blackheart

Suicide..

 The preferred site to do yourself in the entire world is the Golden-Gate Bridge - by FAR...Jumpers hit the water at over 100 miles an hour with an impact the same force as a sack of concrete..

We’re not talking accidental overdoses or sticking your head in a gas oven till you get nauseous and throw up all over the kitchen.. We’re talking about a great deal of deliberation, time, and effort.. If one is that determined I think the city of San Francisco should build a small stairway to heaven halfway across to save them the trouble of climbing over the railing..

JBS Blackheart

Alcoholics Anonymous..

 My first meeting was interesting, ( like chicks pushing maximum density but still order two desserts after polishing off an entire large pizza kind of interesting.)

The guest speaker was a stringy haired, pastey faced, LATE thirty something that looked like he preferred mainlining drain cleaner more than drinking booze, but what do I know? I just got here..I’m thinking immediately, “Is this the best they can do?” I should have been preparing myself for the unimaginable but, again, I was new..

He starts out a little hesitant, and so in an attempt to lighten things up a bit he says - and I quote - “ Alcohol’s overrated, just like Corvettes and Teen-aged pussy..”

Dead..Silence…( except for a few groans from the rows behind me..) The speaker, who looked like he finished last in a Tom Petty look-a-like pageant, pulls at the collar of his faded Mega-Death t-shirt and wipes his forehead..

FIRST - alcohol is not something that can be rated - it’s just there..

SECOND - there is absolutely nothing funny about a close to middle aged man having sex with a teen, unless she is of age, a professional,  and he pays - preferably with his life..

THIRD - I’ve owned a Corvette - a ‘76 Stingray..There’s nothing overrated about Corvettes..Once you’ve had one everything else is just transportation..

It took every ounce of self control I had not to get up and walk out - probably never to return..He tried a few more times at humor and got only a nervous smattering of giggles from his three best friends in the front row..Tough crowd when everyone’s dying for a drink and you just said the most inappropriate thing possible..A lot of these people probably had teenage daughters, and I would’ve felt sorry for the guy if I didn’t hate his fucking guts too..He told another joke but I didn’t hear it - I was absentmindedly wondering why scientists couldn’t come up with a pill to make me stop picturing what this bastard had just said.. I casually look around to confirm what I already knew.. I wasn’t alone..The entire audience seemed to agree with me that he should have the living shit beat out of him out of principle..You just don’t joke about some things to a white-knuckled bunch like this.. The dipshit kept talking for another 30 minutes and proved me wrong by thinking you couldn’t really screw the pooch much worse than he already had, but he did so by mentioning autistic kids..After that I’ll bet money that he spent the rest of his testimony telling himself over and over, “ Never use the teenage autistic trim joke again..” He lost me at hello anyway..I’m pretty image-conscious and this dude’s image was one of a lifetime subscriber to Hustler magazine.. He was the kind of guy that if you saw him fall overboard on a cruise ship and you had a life-preserver in your right hand, you’d run around searching for a 20 pound anchor to throw to him with your left..This asshole reminded me of the shower scene in that horror movie - ( not Psycho ) the home movie where he’s in the shower and you reach around the curtain and hand him a plugged in toaster..

I’m not nominating myself for any medals but I spent more than a few hours of my career watching out for my students from creeps like this..Always trust your instincts - they’re in your DNA for a reason, and mine have never failed me yet.. I left right after the Serenity Prayer..

JBS Blackheart

The Banshees of Inisherin and the Book of John.

 Off the coast of Ireland-1923.

In the Banshees of Inisherin, Colin Farrell  gives a career capping performance  (and he’s only 46.) I’ve been thinking that Austin Butler (ELVIS) was a lock for best actor Oscar, but now it’s a toss up.  Costar Brendan Gleeson, can always be counted on to give solid work - it seems some people are just born to be on the stage. (Gleeson’s scenes in the confessional booth are exceptional..)Without being a spoiler the movie revolves around two men that are lifelong friends one day - but not the next..( No other actor, except possibly deCaprio can steeple their eyebrows like Farrell..You can watch his heart breaking on his face..)

You soon recognize that the film is about choices- how we all make them, and invariably some of these choices will be tragic ones..Banshees is…Different..It’s not for everyone, but it’s very powerful..

( When a film makes me say out loud “Oh.No” it’s got me..)

At one point you’ll wonder, like I did, is it going to be an eye for an eye? You will laugh and you’ll probably cry..

Town Constable - “Old Man McGill stabbed his wife six times last night..”

Ms. Reardon - “And did she die, Pater?”

Constable - “Aye, she died..He didn’t stab her with a spoon..”

You realize that true friendship brings happiness, but it also brings blood and pain, and that is the cost for caring, but what is the cost of living without it?

You find yourself hoping that friendship can transcend and overcome any barrier in it’s way - now go watch the movie..

Streaming on HBO MAX - Satisfaction guaranteed or price of admission free. (6 Kleenex..)

“For each man kills the thing he loves, the coward with a kiss -the brave man with a sword..”

Ballad of Reading Gaol.     Oscar Wilde

                                  *

“Whiskey bottles, brand new cars-

oak tree you’re in my way.”    Lynyrd Skynyrd

                                  *

The Wedding Party             The book of John

2:2-3 And Jesus was called to the wedding party in Cana, Galilee, where his mother was.

2:5  And his mother said unto the servants,”Whatever he tells you to do - do it.”

2:7  Jesus said unto them, “Fill the water pots with water.” And they did so, to the brim..

2:8  And then Jesus told them, “ Now draw out some and take it to the Governor of the wedding feast.” And so they did..

2:9  And when the ruler of the feast tasted the water - made wine, he knew not how it could have happened..( But the servants knew!) The Governor called for the bridegroom..

2:10  And said unto him - “Everyone serves the good stuff at the beginning of any feast, then when all the guests are well drunk, you switch it out with the cheap stuff..But YOU have kept serving the good wine!”

                                 *

1 John 2:15-17    For if a man loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him..For everything in the world- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, the lust of pride comes not from the Father, but from the world..The world and all it’s desires will pass away, but whosoever does the will of God shall live forever..

                                   *

Moon River wider than a mile, I’m crossing you in style someday.

Oh dream maker, you heartbreaker, wherever you’re going, I’m going your way.

Two drifters off to see the world, there’s such a lot of world to see.

We’re after the same rainbow’s end, waiting round the bend, my huckleberry friend,

Moon River - and me.

Andy Williams

JBS Blackheart            Thank you friend-reader

Race in America.

 America has struggled with the race issue for a very long time..After decades of dumping trillions of dollars into black communities and housing, food stamps, child-rearing, and individual’s pockets, we find ourselves 50 years later no better off..

Unemployment,  dismal graduation rates, (or graduates with worthless degrees,) illegitimacy on an epic level (3 out of 4), broken families, drug addiction, and plenty more plague black communities across the nation.. The ones that do make it, by hard work and commitment, leave their high-crime hoods behind and who can blame them? Things aren’t improving no matter how much money we throw at it.. The only solution is for blacks to clean up their own mess..    And that is simply not happening..

They claim this country as their own yet name their children in the most bizarrely unpronounceable ways, (Allouicious, Kaneeshia, Montavious, etc.) as a direct slap in the face of anything popular culture apropos..   ( This makes it easy for any racist employer to weed out potential new hires - Jawdishyawn goes into the trash can..)

With their flash mobs and brazen theft they drive grocery stores and 7-11’s out of their own neighborhoods, then complain when they have to drive to the “white “ side of town to buy things or have their clothes dry-cleaned. Far too many of them want to get paid for something that may or may not have happened to their ancestors 150 years ago from people that have been dead for generations..(Which sounds a whole lot like racism to me..)

If you’re a young black man or woman who puts forth a minimum of effort you’ll find that the world is your oyster..Corporate employers will trip over themselves trying to hire you..You know this, yet continue the same tired lie that your people are being oppressed by the white power structure - which doesn’t even exist..

Do you really believe that whites sit around wondering how we can make your life miserable?  Don’t flatter yourself..The truth is we keep ourselves busy just trying to raise our families and get up and go to work everyday- you should try it sometime..In fact, we don’t think of you at all!  Except when we’re reminded time after time on the evening news seeing you rioting and burning down your own neighborhoods after looting the local Footlocker and drugstore..    Shit’s getting old, bra..

How much value do you place on having all the benefits of western civilization dropped into your laps? From the prescription drugs keeping your mother alive to the paved streets you drive your stolen cars on , ALL of it was created by hard work by white people..How are YOU going to pay us back for that? You want reparations for something that happened a century before any of us were even born?!                   Fuck you..

I know a guy who works his ass off six days a week and rightfully takes great pride in his work..If I offered him a personal check for reparations he would most likely neatly fold it in half before he stuck it up my ass.(Or try to)

Want to go back to Africa? We’ve tried that 200 years ago..Whites ended up founding the country of Liberia when freed blacks weren’t up to the task. The Capitol, Monrovia, is now a huge tent city that is roamed by feral packs of twelve year old gangsters carrying AK-47’s.. Amazingly, white Christians still risk life and limb going there on missionary endeavors to try and help in any way they can..

A very popular Vegas oddsmaker made the mistake of voicing his opinion on the matter of black athletes in America being superior to whites..Jimmy the Greek offered, over a private dinner, that blacks could run faster and jump higher because slave-owners bred their fore-bearers to be so..This was a little too much honesty even for the 70’s and so Jimmy’s career was effectively permanently ruined afterwards..  Selective Genetics is a commonplace science and has been for a long time - ask any dog-breeder…      ( However, on the flip side physical or mental fitness doesn’t determine who passes on their genes - the RATE of reproduction does - A  slightly retarded ghetto dweller that has 12 children by 12 different sperm donors will win the reproduction sweepstakes..)

Can we just call a spade a spade? Blacks comprise 13% of the American population, yet they enjoy massive over representation from television to music..The Nobel Peace Prize was created to celebrate anyone that contributed the most to humankind in each year..A black scientist has never won the award despite Herculean efforts to manipulate it to happen..There are plenty of good black scientists- it’s just that there are better Jewish and Asian ones..This isn’t racism -it’s just an inconvenient fact for the race-hucksters who would be out of a job the moment they stop stirring the turd..

We’re tired of pouring money and manpower into your decaying hoods..

We’re tired of seeing you lionize petty thugs that are killed by police..

We’re tired of hearing you piss and moan about how oppressed you be..

We’re tired of hearing your idle threats bleating “ No justice, No peace!”

We’re tired of tiptoeing around your feelings..

And we’re damn sick and tired of you pushing us onto subway tracks and raping our women.

                                   *

When the Saxon Began to Hate

“It was not part of their blood,

It came to them very late,

With long arrears to make good,

When the Saxon began to hate..

Their voices were even and low.

Their eyes were level and straight.

There was neither sign nor show,

When the Saxon began to hate.”

Rudyard Kipling

This post was researched, and the rest is my opinion..If you have an intelligent rebuttal I will gladly run it in my comments..                  

JBS Blackheart            Thank you-friend reader

Pelosi and the Hammer.

Black (heart) by popular demand,

NEWS FLASH!!

Paul Pelosi (Nancy’s gay husband) to star in remake of The Village People movie..Pelosi will play the lead role of Buck, the construction worker, because if all you have is a hammer everything looks like a “nail.”Conservative critics interrupted filming last Tuesday with unruly chants of “Come clean Pauline!” 

Okay, no police body cams, no home security video, and the police say Pelosi himself answered the door looking,” spent.” Yeah, I’ll bet..Why didn’t he just pay the guy after sex like normal perverts do?

Anyway, this whole soap opera episode is so sordidly obvious that I’m getting bored with it.If Pelosi wasn’t screwing his boyfriend he’s damn sure screwing what little faith we have left in our institutions..The only thing we don’t really know about this love triangle ( Pelosi, his lover, and the hammer) is who was pitching and who was catching..After a few practice stories Pauline came up with the brilliant lie, “ He surprised me while I was still in bed!”

Smart thinking, Sugar - that will explain all the strange pubic hairs and DNA the investigators are going to find under the sheets! You both struggled to see who would get “hammered “ first..

C’mon Paulie, you’re in San Francisco for Christs sake! You’re definitely not fooling these gays, ( I mean guys.) You really should drop all charges against your boy-toy, bail him out of jail, and send his happy ass back to the downtown streets where you found him..And the next time you and “The Hammerer” ( great nickname for a male Prost by the way,) hook up will you please just pay for play- like you’ve done your whole perverse life..

JBS Blackheart

Memories..

 Believe it or not, when I was single and lonely years ago I decided to try and learn some Japanese to stay mentally sharp - (some help that was, right?)

I used to work as a waiter at The Balcony restaurant on Camp Bowie to get through college..When I got off I would sometimes go to my favorite authentic Japanese restaurant down the street, the Japanese Palace..( Sadly, it’s no longer there.) The Palace was decorated with understated elegance..Not like a lot of other, “ Watch, as I cook your food light  in front of your stupid, fat, round eyes!” kind of joints..It was like walking into a scene out of SHOGUN..  Mama-sans sitting on cushions staring at me like I was the one that had dropped the big one on Hiroshima.. To them, I guess I may as well have been.. The waitresses and ALL the staff were top shelf..

One night I was into a few Ichi-bons and the most beautiful oriental young lady I had ever seen delivered the next one to me..A true Japanese lady will never put anything down on a table in front of you unless you request it, (and why would you?)

Anyway, this wasn’t my first Tokyo-Rodeo so I knew to take the rice beer, then by custom, bow my head slightly taking my eyes briefly to the floor and say  “Thank you.”

Which I didn’t do.. I was spellbound by this geisha-goddess, so I bowed, but like taking a countess’s fingertips, I stared her straight in the eye and kissed her tiny hand..Then a sentence popped into my head and I said, “Hitoribotchi no yoru..” ( But I am all alone tonight- in English.)  

We hit it off like peas and carrots and went out, under the disapproving glare of the older ladies, and danced until the middle of the night.. Her name was Miyoshi, and I never saw her again afterwards- the place went out of business.. And the rest of the events of that amazing evening will stay locked in this black heart, forever..

JBS Blackheart 

Where’s Shane when we need him..

 Hunter Biden is quite rarely seen,                     

On hookers he’s still in betweens.

But with his devilish knack,

He says  “ Oh, I’ll be back!”

“ Cause my crack pipe’s right here

in my jeans!”

                                 *

Road Kill

Driving to the hospital late last night,

I turned down a road that ran between two fields.

Up ahead in, the middle of the road, 

a small brown rabbit was sitting very still,

looking down at a rabbit that was dead,

a mangled corpse, run over by a car.

Lit up by headlights, he took off for the fields,

Slowing down, I drove by the dead rabbit,

then stopped the car and watched in the rear view mirror..

The rabbit came back and sat in the road again,

resuming the vigil for his dead friend, or kin.

Quiet, still, he sat and stared at him..

Touched, unable to guess what you felt or thought,

I found it hard to watch you suffer this..

You have no words to understand what death is

 No words to ease your sadness, to console, to mourn or pray, or tell your friend farewell..

I hope you made it home safely last night and woke this morning in the warm sunlight..

This morning, at my table under the trees, because you have no words,

I’ve written these..

Michael Creagan

                                    *

                              Krisp

There once was a terrier named Krisp

Who’s tail in a mousetrap got snipped..

He growled a big  “Whew”

While counting balls, ( two )

“Any slower and I’d bark with a lisp!”

                                 *

                           Nancy

Pelosi prefers to wear silk

Taxpayers she gladly does bilk

But since last October 

She says “ Now I’m sober!”

Right - and Irishmen only drink milk..

                                 *

Joe Biden is a lowdown yankee liar, ( the G rated version) and is walking us into a national catastrophe..If you can’t see it you are stupid,   fortunate,  or stupidly fortunate..

JBS Blackheart          Thank you friend-reader

Limerick Time

   Fairytale of New York is considered the greatest Christmas song ever made in the UK

                                   *

                     The Democrats 

 If one looks in a toilet, I’ve heard,

Kamala is flipping the bird

Buttigieg with a grin’s bending over,

While Kerry with lust thinks it ‘tover

Hilary with dykes does run,

And Obama is married to one

Poor Biden can’t pronounce a word 

Guess you really can’t polish a turd..

JBS Blackheart

                                  *

                              Yank

There once was a Yank from Nantucket,

With hen feathers so long one could pluck it,

With a Kennedy “Whoopie!”

He fell drunk in the sea,

Do I help?  He’s a Yankee, so fuck it..

                                  *

                            Whipple

I once had a greyhound named Whipple,

Who’s farts were so bad they could cripple,

She farted thrice with a roar,

Said, “ Wait, there is more!”

“But in baseball you’d call that a triple!”

                                  *

LADIES..Read This.

 This is not what I’ve told every single new class for over 20 years - but it’s very close..Each semester I had kids ask when I was going to have “The Talk,” so they’d make sure they didn’t skip or call in sick..

If you are ever faced with an assault or kidnapping situation you have several options available..

First, never walk anywhere alone, to your car or anywhere else, if you can help it..We aren’t in Mayberry anymore..If you are alone pay very close attention to your surroundings…Predators will always go for the slow, the weak, or the stupid..If you’re going to your car have your keys gripped in your fist with at least one of them between your fingers in a stabbing position..If you’re assaulted use the keys to plunge into the eyes or neck of the predator, then run like hell..While running never scream “ Help!” ALWAYS yell “Fire!” you will attract far more attention this way..Do not slow down - if you hit your mark adrenaline will allow your assailant to give chase for a few seconds and he will be very pissed off - until his body realizes that it is mortally wounded and hopefully he will then bleed out on the ground..If you are comfortable with the idea, and trained, carry a pistol in your purse or on your body..If he has a gun run in a zigzag pattern - if not run in a straight line to safety.. Never take the stairs alone in a parking garage or building.. Never get on an elevator if there is a single occupant in it.. If you are already on it and a man gets on - get off..Wait for another one..

When you get in your car lock the doors immediately and LEAVE.. Don’t check your makeup or make a call.. If you are slow or unfortunate enough to allow someone to jump into your passenger seat make sure your seatbelt is on and drive into the nearest brick wall..Both front airbags will deploy but your belt will help you..( If you’ve never had an airbag go off remember that they are designed to save your life - it will knock the hell out of you..Try to get in the habit of driving with your hands in the 8 and 4 o’clock positions - it will prevent your wrists from being broken or flying back in your face..) Do whatever it takes to bail out right after the crash..

Never walk through a parking lot while talking on your phone..If you are kidnapped look for tattoos, scars, or any other identifying marks..Do NOT stare..It will make him either nervous or excited, and both are bad..Keep looking for an opportunity to escape. Never park next to a van, and if you are returning to your car and one is parked next to you either study it carefully, or go back and get someone to escort you.. If anyone ever attempts to force you into a different vehicle fight like your life depends on it, because it does..The only reason that they would want to take you somewhere else is so they can do what they want to you before they kill you..

I’m not law enforcement but any officer worth a damn will tell you the same thing - When every second counts, the cops are only minutes away..If you ever break down stay in your locked car and call the highway safety patrol with the number on the back of your driver’s license..

NO CHILD UNDER 12 SHOULD BE ANYWHERE ALONE - except inside the locked doors of their own home..

It’s a crazy world and it’s getting crazier every day.. Obey your instincts, they’re in your DNA and could save your life..Either forward this to every other female you know or tell them yourself.. If this sounds creepy or scary - then good..It was meant to..If this information helps to save one single life it will be well worth it.

                                  *

T’was a Saudi whose name was Bin Ladden,      America’s hearts he did sadden,                         Until Seal-Six hit,  And blew up his shit,                                   THEN American souls they did gladden!

                                  *

Alonzo Stagg said in 1905, “Statistics are for losers and assistant coaches..”  Dak Prescott has great statistics..Prescott isn’t even in the top ten best quarterbacks in the NFL..He folds like a cheap lawn chair in big games..Always has - probably always will.. I was texting back and forth with a guy years ago and he asked in what part of Texas I was in.. I told him I was a German 88 artillery shot south of JerryWorld.. He replied with “ JerryWorld?”                         I wrote back,” Where the Cowboys go to lose important games..”   I’ve seen the Cowboys way back when they played in the Cotton Bowl.. I bleed silver and blue..                           CeeDee Lamb is the best receiver in the league..You can have all your other hot dogs..   Micah Parsons is a lock for Defensive Player of the Year.. The Cowboys have three of the best tight ends in football, especially Ferguson who last week made the single best play in Dallas history.. He caught a pretty shitty pass from Dak “Crazy Arm” Prescott, hurdled a defender then said “ Do you want fries with that?” and put his helmet right through the numbers of the poor schmuck who was in his way..

The name for the 2022 Cowboys is “Unchained Lightning.” ( Yes, it’s mine..)

                                   *

Tulsa King starring Sylvester Stallone is the best show on TV, ( Paramount +) Yes, even better than Yellowstone and that’s saying a lot. It’s written by the same guy, Taylor Sheridan.. Watch it from the start - but episode 4 is an instant classic.. It is brilliantly written and Stallone is doing the best acting of his career. The last ten minutes of 4 is as good of TV as I’ve ever seen..

                                   *

A spider that spins a web and waits depends on the system for it’s survival..If a victim doesn’t come around in time the spider will die of starvation..

JBS Blackheart.         Thank you friend-reader

Unbelievable..

 I had already written this morning’s post to be typed up when I awoke, but this happened in my sleep.

I swear that these three dreams were dreamt last night sometime between 01:30 and 06:30.. Just the way I’m telling it, down to the last detail.. They are in order to how they occurred..        

    “ To sleep, perchance to dream..Ay, there’s the rub..”                                                                  Hamlet - Shakespeare     

                      Dream One

I had taken two popular, prescription sleeping pills after the Cowboy game last night. (Trazadone.. It is known for causing very vivid dreams..) I don’t sleep much anymore and I was pretty wired up after Dallas put a king sized whuppin’ on the hapless Colts..                   Finally, about 01:00 a.m. I fell into a fitful slumber..And then the shit hit the fan..                I was in a house - my house, but the floor plan was strange.. I was cleaning an 85 gallon fish tank that I owned 50 years ago in the middle of the night..The doorbell rings and my wife went to the door.. I reached into the coffee table and got my Ruger 357, and followed her..She is at the door, her hand reaches for the handle as I post up ten feet behind her, knees slightly bent, and aim directly where I think whoever is knocking me up late at night’s head should be.. She hesitates and then a LOUD knock follows..                                                              You could cut the tension with a knife..

The gun goes off, putting a neat hole 8 inches above and just to the left of her head, through the metal door..

She turns and looks at me - then opens the door..  No one is there..

                        Dream Two

My wife, ( a different one) decided to go for a walk very late at night.. She has a good lead on me so I hurry to catch up..We are in the countryside..The landscape is heavily wooded and TOTALLY unfamiliar - I’ve never been there before in my life..We pass through a hollow and come up and out into a large meadow.. I’m scolding her for going out so late when I hear a loud noise approaching fast.. I look down in my hand and I still have my loaded 357 magnum from the PREVIOUS dream, loaded but with one spent shell in it.. I swing open the cylinder and remove the empty casing.. A copper colored hot-rod comes tearing-ass over a ridge about 70 yards to our right..As it passes by us I yell, “Slow down, asshole!” The brake lights come on, but the car keeps going.. After a moment or two I see headlights coming back straight at us.. I tell her to run to a nearby oak tree, get behind it, and get low..She does, and I turn back to the oncoming vehicle, leveling my pistol, and hold as steady as I can..

The car disappears into thin air..

I scream at her to RUN - that I’m right behind her.. I watch her take off like a scalded dog..

I’m walking home very quickly, looking back - and I see a figure a hundred yards behind me..Following fast.. I keep going and look back again - now the figure has closed the distance.. I run like hell..

Why didn’t I stand my ground and wait for him? Because he had already made himself and a car vanish - I somehow knew that my bullets would go right through him, while his bad intentions would be very deadly to me..   

I woke up..

                       Dream Three

I was at a large lake house with my fiancé attending some kind of a convention retreat with about ten other people..                              I remember pulling her aside and asking her if she wanted children..She smiled and enthusiastically said yes..( She was a composite of every beautiful woman I’d ever known..) I remember her accidentally breaking a Pyrex coffee pot, (which are practically impossible to break.)        I remember picking up the pieces with the help of a fellow retreater, warning him to be careful not to get cut..

We were very happy..

One morning I walked into the garage.. There were three other motorcycles, and my Harley-Davidson Fat Boy, which had been stripped to the frame..The other bikes hadn’t been touched..For some sick reason the thieves had left behind a rusted out piece of shit 1970-ish Honda behind, maybe as trade or consolation.. I fell to the floor on my back moaning, head in hands..

I remembered canceling my full coverage insurance only weeks earlier to save 24 dollars a month..

Sigmund Freud would’ve had a great time with me..

Note to self.. Never, ever take Trazadone again..

Anti-Christ Biden

   The monster Biden, ( who got the defective brain in Frankenstein’s laboratory) and his walking tumor of a son are starting to feel the heat from the Republican’s torches and pitchforks investigation into their sorry, crooked, crackhead, perverse, lives..

                                    *

  Some people just can’t take a joke. I’ve been catching a little flak for my “Steiner’s Nails” jest..                                                                         My reply?                                                           Did someone put a gun to your head and make you read my stuff? People like you give Christianity a bad name..You worry about your salvation - and let me worry about mine..(Not worried a bit..I know my redeemer lives and I know he keeps his promises..) While it may be true that JC never laughed at a joke  - ( he already knows all the punchlines ) - I guarantee you he laughed at other things hard and often.. I can also promise you he was the most popular guest at the wedding party..

                                    *

  My friend, Kevin from Rhode Island , ( Texas has bigger counties,) wanted so bad to be a Wiseguy, a Goodfellow, a Made-man..He ended up having to work for a living like the rest of us.. He is definitely one of the three most trusted friends I have left.. He knows that I would take a bullet for his dumb yankee ass, and I know the same about him..                                               Kevin and his buddies piled into a car one day in 1978 and headed south for Florida and Spring-break..They were warned to be careful passing through North Carolina, so of course they sped up as soon as they hit the state-line.. They got pulled over on I-40 by a Highway Patrol officer..The officer took up all their ID’s   leaned over the driver’s side window and said, “Well, well, well - it’s the Boys from the Bronx! Tell you how we’re going to handle this..We don’t trust you to do the right thing-we know how forgetful you are..So, your citation will be $275 dollars - in cash..” It was all they had..

                                      *

  “Paulie caught a bullet, but it only hit his leg, While it should’ve been a better shot                 And got him in the head..”.                                     The Butthole Surfers

                                      *

  Max Duggan for President ( quarterback for my 13-0 TCU Horny Toads..Anybody besides the sorry son of a bitch currently soiling the White House carpets..) TCU can beat hell out of any shorthorn dipshits from Weirdsville, Tx.  TUCK FEXAS!

JBS Blackheart

The Dentist..

   For those of you that wish you’d been born in a different century I have four words for you- “Modern Dentistry “ and “Nitrous - Oxide.” ( Why is it that everybody brushes their teeth the hardest right before going to get them cleaned? )  I had a two - o’clock appointment with my friend and dentist,  Maggie..  I won’t let anyone work on me but her - she’s a true artist ( and we know what kind of people THEY are..)

  Seriously though, she is crazy as a bedbug and I won’t go anywhere else.. She can be right in the middle of doing a root-canal, and then burst into song - you can hear her easily from the waiting room.. 

I’d generally prefer having my ass kicked, ( which I’ve had several times - once pretty badly outside a bar on Sixth Street in Austin..In the immortal words of Ron White, I didn’t know how many of them it would take to beat my ass - but I know how many they used,) than go to the dentist..

  A young lady, ( Zenobia ) took me back to one of the torture chambers but before I got into the chair I told her that she should know two things - first, that I’ve been in enough fights that when somebody sticks their finger’s in my mouth I generally try to bite them off , and two - that I would be needing nitrous oxide immediately and please don’t take your foot off the “gas.”

  Before she hooked me up to the apparatus I noticed a large vest hanging on the wall with a hole in it exactly where the belly-button would be.. I said, “ If that’s supposed to be a bulletproof vest, it didn’t work.”                            Zenobia answered with, “ HaHa, you’re a really funny guy aren’t you, John!”                        “ Just wait ‘till you turn the Nitrous on, “ I told her..   She put the mask on me and cranked it up.. Deep breaths…Nothing..                                “Umm, Zenobia, I don’t feel a thing..”.             She went and got another tech, ( Louise ) to come and fix it..  Zenobia said, “ I don’t really know what I’m doing - I just follow instructions.”   I said, “ Well, that’s encouraging..”  More deep breaths.. I looked back over my forehead and saw Louise standing there and I said, “ You’re upside down!”           She looked at me, smiled, and said to Zeno,  “ It’s working now..” Then she left..

  As I was having my teeth cleaned Maggie danced in singing a Freddie Mercury tune, so I said, “ Some pussy I am, huh, Maggie? Need laughing gas to get my teeth cleaned..”   “You are so cray-cray, John,” she warbled.. (When it comes to dentists I’m thinking I’m about as brave as a nine year old girl but that’s not true - nine year old girls have the nerve to sell shitty cookies outside of grocery stores for ten dollars a box..)I told her that I had some third world stuff going on in my mouth..“Where have you had work done?”  she asked .. “ Right here, Maggie..” I said..                              “Well, it’s been a while, John..”        

  Zenobia finished my mouth and Maggie examined me..She said, “ It’s not third world but you have broken a filling - England teeth maybe..” I’d made the appointment so that I could get Botox injections directly into the muscles of my jaw - have something called TMJ ( Thermonuclear Motherf- - - ing Jawpain ) that makes me tense up, causing headaches.                                                    I asked her if she used horse needles for the procedure and she laughed again..                     “ You ARE cray-cray, John - I use diabetic syringes!”  After marking “X’s” all over my face she then made the injections..I’m still waiting for it to take effect..

JBS Blackheart