On Smoking..

 “ Little self inflicted wounds,” is the pearl of wisdom that’s always stuck with me. And there’s “Evil Weed, Dragon Breath,” and the ever dependable “Coffin Nails.”

Do you think we smoke because we WANT to die horribly from cancer, or suffocate slowly with emphysema? ( I don’t believe in second hand smoke doing any damage - except that it stinks to high heaven, especially, curiously, to ex-smokers.)

We smoke because we like it. We realize that all the self-righteous folk will feel vindicated if and when we get sick but last time I checked nobody gets out of here alive anyway. The six years we’ll lose will be the last six and more than likely won’t be missed. It’s very sad when the FIRST thought that comes to mind when we ( smokers too) hear that someone’s got cancer is “ Did he or she smoke?”

Because that means they deserve it..

Indians are still bitching about what a raw deal they got from the paleface..They’ve killed millions more of us than we ever did them by turning us on to tobacco..It is Moctezuma’s real revenge, not diarrhea induced microbial water..(But we did get even when we introduce d them to firewater.)

Mark Twain dryly remarked, “Quitting smoking is easy - I’ve done it a hundred times.”

JBS Blackheart

What files?

 There once was a prez called Joe Biden,

with plenty of files he was hidin,’

But he owns a corvette,

And though his brains are all wet,

To his Cellies he’ll soon be confiden’.

For the Dems it has always been known,

Have a penchant for eating their own.

The garage door’s just a latch,

So Joe’s already a catch,

But Hunter looks for an escape hatch!

JBS Blackheart

La Cucharacha..

 I was walking past the dining room the other day and noticed a dead leaf under the table. I reached down to pick it up and it moved. It wasn’t a leaf - it was one of the biggest cockroaches I’ve ever seen in my life. Only one, and I haven’t seen any others in my house in a decade.

What he lacked in numbers he more than made up for in size..This guy was a champion. Hell, he could’ve opened his own can of beans..I didn’t mind so much but in his death throes he rearranged some of the furniture..He probably seasoned his food with pesticides. He was SO big I thought I should call the medical examiner for an official death certificate. Anyway, he was too large for the trash or garbage disposal so I dug a hole with a shovel in the backyard and put him in it..RIP..

The Music That Made Us..

 Taking requests..All entries will be seriously considered - but please remember this is not a democracy. If you don’t see yours don’t take it personally..

Dallas Cowboys 2023

 In the worst team effort in 40 years ( 1985 - Bears-44 Cowboys-0) the most successful team in professional sports shit their own bed tonight in the BEST example of ineptitude and gutlessness ever seen on national television..The statistics are there-look ‘em up. It was a team effort to see who could suck the hardest (except for the best receiver in the NFL, my man CeeDee Lamb,) and Dak “ Crazy Arm” Prescott won hands down..He could’ve sucked a tennis ball through a garden hose and I’ve said it several times before - Dak Prescott, when it really counts and he’s gotten your hopes up sky-high - will fold like a cheap lawn chair..He simply doesn’t have “it”..

The Cowboys have- 

The best defensive player in the NFL..

The best receiver in the NFL..

The 32nd best quarterback in the NFL..

Tonight wasn’t a loss - it was another national embarrassment 40 years in the making..Stick to selling mattresses, Dak..It’s the only thing you do well under pressure..The 49ers beat the Cowboys like a red-headed stepchild..

Fuck ‘em..

The Idaho murders.

 I went to see one of our “Esteemed Medical Professionals “ ( which in this case was an oxymoron of biblical proportions) for my TMJ which stands for Thermonuclear Motherf - - -ing Jawpain about a month ago. I also had a tiny sore just on the inside of my left nostril that was slow to heal that my REAL doctor was concerned about saying that is how cancer acts. That statement got my attention very fast.

The “specialist” rolled into the exam room as pregnant as a hamster ( a very ugly hamster, with few teeth.) I was underwhelmed.

But at least she was dressed like a professional, all decked out in an old faded black T-shirt that failed to cover her expansive belly which was HUGE..

She had on matching black jeans and I had no idea what she had on her feet - nothing, for all I knew and if she was wearing shoes I also didn’t have a clue how she got them on. I doubted that she’d even SEEN her feet for at least the last trimester.

She began her thorough 4 minute examination looking at my nostril first and saying, “ Do you pick your nose?”

“ Only in public,” I answered. 

“Well, you might want to do it with a little less enthusiasm from now on,”  she said. Then she looked at my jaw briefly before declaring me perfectly fine. ( In fairness to American schools she probably got her medical degree at the University of Johannesburg..)

She gave me a prescription for a little antibiotic cream complete with a couple of Q-tips, and SEVEN muscle relaxers (Flexoril.)

This is not a typo..Seven flexoril - not twenty, not ten - SEVEN.

She billed 507$ for all this.. ( Even high priced attorneys don’t charge half this much and they serve a higher purpose.)

After receiving the second demand for my share of the fee I called her office and spoke to her secretary inquiring, “How in the world can the doctor, with a straight face, bill over 500 bucks?”

“Uhmm, because she can?” was her reply. Clever girl - I liked her immensely.

But I wasn’t quite finished yet - “What kind of noise does a duck make?” I asked.

“QUACK..”she answered.

“Exactly.” I still haven’t paid..

                                     *

FBI - ( Fetid Bunch of Indescribables ) If they’d ever get off of Bitch Biden’s payroll and quit hunting Donald Trump like the pack of jackels they are they might discover that they are okay at doing their real jobs like Umm, fighting crime. They caught the murderer from Idaho Wednesday.

I originally wrote the following, exactly one week after the killings on November 13th, 2022. It posted 2 days later on my blog. (Trannys and Women’s Sports.)

1) The killer knew all four of them.

2) HE wants to be caught, because he wants to be famous, ( and now he is.)

3) HE worked alone.

4) HE is cold as ice, a bona-fide psychopath. (One look at his curious looking unlived in face and those cold dead eyes and you know he did it.)

I got four out of four - and I’d be the first volunteer in line to throw the switch on the bastard..

                                    *

Just when I’m starting to think Joyless Bejar couldn’t possibly screw herself blind any worse she pulls a gem like this out of her hard hitting journalist ass,  “ There’s a real problem in this country with heterosexual men, and especially the NFL, with toxic masculinity.”

Happy New Year, everyone..It’s going to be an interesting one..

JBS Blackheart