La Cucharacha..

 I was walking past the dining room the other day and noticed a dead leaf under the table. I reached down to pick it up and it moved. It wasn’t a leaf - it was one of the biggest cockroaches I’ve ever seen in my life. Only one, and I haven’t seen any others in my house in a decade.

What he lacked in numbers he more than made up for in size..This guy was a champion. Hell, he could’ve opened his own can of beans..I didn’t mind so much but in his death throes he rearranged some of the furniture..He probably seasoned his food with pesticides. He was SO big I thought I should call the medical examiner for an official death certificate. Anyway, he was too large for the trash or garbage disposal so I dug a hole with a shovel in the backyard and put him in it..RIP..