Suspicious Minds

 

The Music That Made Us

 

On Smoking..

 “ Little self inflicted wounds,” is the pearl of wisdom that’s always stuck with me. And there’s “Evil Weed, Dragon Breath,” and the ever dependable “Coffin Nails.”

Do you think we smoke because we WANT to die horribly from cancer, or suffocate slowly with emphysema? ( I don’t believe in second hand smoke doing any damage - except that it stinks to high heaven, especially, curiously, to ex-smokers.)

We smoke because we like it. We realize that all the self-righteous folk will feel vindicated if and when we get sick but last time I checked nobody gets out of here alive anyway. The six years we’ll lose will be the last six and more than likely won’t be missed. It’s very sad when the FIRST thought that comes to mind when we ( smokers too) hear that someone’s got cancer is “ Did he or she smoke?”

Because that means they deserve it..

Indians are still bitching about what a raw deal they got from the paleface..They’ve killed millions more of us than we ever did them by turning us on to tobacco..It is Moctezuma’s real revenge, not diarrhea induced microbial water..(But we did get even when we introduce d them to firewater.)

Mark Twain dryly remarked, “Quitting smoking is easy - I’ve done it a hundred times.”

JBS Blackheart

What files?

 There once was a prez called Joe Biden,

with plenty of files he was hidin,’

But he owns a corvette,

And though his brains are all wet,

To his Cellies he’ll soon be confiden’.

For the Dems it has always been known,

Have a penchant for eating their own.

The garage door’s just a latch,

So Joe’s already a catch,

But Hunter looks for an escape hatch!

JBS Blackheart

La Cucharacha..

 I was walking past the dining room the other day and noticed a dead leaf under the table. I reached down to pick it up and it moved. It wasn’t a leaf - it was one of the biggest cockroaches I’ve ever seen in my life. Only one, and I haven’t seen any others in my house in a decade.

What he lacked in numbers he more than made up for in size..This guy was a champion. Hell, he could’ve opened his own can of beans..I didn’t mind so much but in his death throes he rearranged some of the furniture..He probably seasoned his food with pesticides. He was SO big I thought I should call the medical examiner for an official death certificate. Anyway, he was too large for the trash or garbage disposal so I dug a hole with a shovel in the backyard and put him in it..RIP..

The Music That Made Us..

 Taking requests..All entries will be seriously considered - but please remember this is not a democracy. If you don’t see yours don’t take it personally..

Dallas Cowboys 2023

 In the worst team effort in 40 years ( 1985 - Bears-44 Cowboys-0) the most successful team in professional sports shit their own bed tonight in the BEST example of ineptitude and gutlessness ever seen on national television..The statistics are there-look ‘em up. It was a team effort to see who could suck the hardest (except for the best receiver in the NFL, my man CeeDee Lamb,) and Dak “ Crazy Arm” Prescott won hands down..He could’ve sucked a tennis ball through a garden hose and I’ve said it several times before - Dak Prescott, when it really counts and he’s gotten your hopes up sky-high - will fold like a cheap lawn chair..He simply doesn’t have “it”..

The Cowboys have- 

The best defensive player in the NFL..

The best receiver in the NFL..

The 32nd best quarterback in the NFL..

Tonight wasn’t a loss - it was another national embarrassment 40 years in the making..Stick to selling mattresses, Dak..It’s the only thing you do well under pressure..The 49ers beat the Cowboys like a red-headed stepchild..

Fuck ‘em..